All Over Again
by A New Kind of Normal From 97
Summary: What if after Commander Shepard jumped into the synthesis beam, she woke up to find that... it was 2183 and the day before the beginning of her assignment on the Normandy SR-1. Was it all just a dream? Or a prediction? (Rating may change in later chapters)
1. Waking Up

_Why did it have to be like this? Why was she forced to choose her own demise by leaping into a beam of colored light to stop the reapers?_

_Commander Shepard should have a better ending than this, after all she did, she deserved to go out in a blaze of glory, with the last thing she sees being her lover's face as she dies in his arms. After uniting the entire galaxy, she deserved an ending at least that spectacular, didn't she?_

_Instead she dies alone, not even an enemy shooting at hurt, no one to tell of her courageous and selfless act after she's gone, and no closure for the man she loves._

_These are the thoughts that go through her mind as she limps toward the center light, the green beam of synthesis, but she knows the longer she takes, the more people die, and so she throws her gun aside and sprints for the beam, wishing this wasn't really happening._

_As she leaps, she thinks about the people who meant the most to her, Anderson, Joker, Tali, Liara, Kadian... and Garrus._

_God, Garrus... They should've gotten their happy ending, they deserved to retire on a beach somewhere and adopt a little baby. They would've been good parents._

**_"Forgive the insubordination Shepard, but your boyfriend has an order for you. Come back alive, it'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you."_**

_She felt the tears come as her energy was absorbed. "I'm sorry Garrus..."_

* * *

Her eyes flickered open and drank in the sight of the room, she lay in a twin bed with white sheets and a blanket pulled up to her breasts. the walls where as white as the sheets and the floor was made of a polished hardwood. A window next to the bed poured in sunlight, and a desk in the opposite corner had a private extranet terminal sitting on it's surface.

She groaned as she sat up, every muscle screaming with her movements. She tossed off her covers and climbed out of bed, rubbing her temples. The commander wondered where she was, panic overtaking her, there was no way she was still alive after synthesizing, but if she were in heaven, she wouldn't be in pain. And there was supposed to be a bar, a bar damn it, not a 21st century bedroom. If she couldn't find the bar, she couldn't find Garrus.

There was a nightstand next to the bed, and a picture frame rested on it. Hoping for a clue she picked up the frame and checked the photo inside. At first she didn't recognize it, but as her eyes swept over the happy blonde 14 year old and her parents in alliance uniforms, she remembered it, and nearly dropped it, the last photo she had of her family before her father went MIA, a photo she had lost in the destruction of the Normandy SR-1.

Carefully she set it down and backed away, there had to be an explanation for that, maybe she did survive somehow and and someone tracked the picture down for her as a get well present. She bolted over to the open bathroom door, and turned on the faucet in the sink, leaning over and splashing her face with cold water.

When she turned it off and looked up into the mirror, her body jerked with surprise, her hair reached just past her shoulders, devoid of the cuts she'd made for her time on the Normandy. None of the scars and wrinkles she'd gained over the years were present.

Shepard had expected to be pretty messed up after her fight with the reapers, but it was quite the opposite, her skin was not scratched, scarred, or even bruised. Panic began consume her, and she went for the only thing that could confirm anything. Spinning around, lifting up the back of her tank top, her eyes scanned for the "PROPERTY OF VAKARIAN" tramp stamp she had gotten after losing a bet to the turian shortly after they started dating.

She sank to the floor, hugging herself. It wasn't there to her, that presented two possibilities, she was actually a Shepard clone with all of the commander's memories- a highly unlikely scenario- or her time on the Normandy, on Eden Prime, chasing Saren, stopping the collectors... falling in love, was all just a very elaborate dream- not as unlikely, but definitely out there unusual. It felt so real, but there was nothing left now to prove that it all happened, so it had to be the latter, right?

Picking herself up and stumbling over to the doorway of the bathroom she stared at the room, searching her memory. If it had all been a dream, she must have been in this room before, so why didn't she recognize it? Frustrated, she stalked over to the window and stared at the outside, the view was breathtaking, but what was even more breathtaking was the realization that hit her like a speeding bullet. She was in the bedroom of the small apartment she rented on earth for when she had extended shore leave, and that was the straw that broke the camel's back.

If everything had really happened, this apartment, would be a pile of rubble.

Now, that she knew it was a dream, it was a necessity to find out how much of it actually was actually a dream, she decided sinking into the chair in front of her extranet terminal and quickly accessed her private messages. Scanning through them for important details, she noticed an unread message from Captain Anderson, sent that morning, with the subject _"Early End to Shore Leave."_

_"Shepard,_

_I apologize for cutting your shore leave a week short, however, the construction of the ship we'll be serving on finished earlier than expected. My higher ups want to get this stealth system tested ASAP, all we need now is for the crew to arrive and we'll head out._

_Anderson."_

Reading it, deja vu spread through her system, she remembered reading this message before, but there was no way to confirm such. Powering down the terminal, the 29 year old hurried to dress and pack before she left to catch a shuttle to where the Normandy was.


	2. The SSV Normandy SR-1

She hated the way people stared at her in her civies, her jeans and hoodie were very 21st century compared to the people around her, but she found them to be more comfortable, and in her opinion more stylish, than the attire that was popular among the rest of the populace.

She would've just worn her uniform, but until the mission started, she still considered herself on shore leave and would take any opportunity to keep comfortable. she chewed on her lip and thanked god she managed to get a window seat on her several hour journey so she could stare at the scenery. Shifting uncomfortably under the gaze of her fellow passengers, taking out her omni tool and beginning to sift through what information there was saved on it. running out of things to check, she uneasily began read through the list of personnel who she'd be serving with. After her dream, she wasn't sure she wanted to know, but she'd have to find out sooner or later.

She chewed on her lip nervously as she began to recognize names: Navigator Charles Pressly, Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau, Dr. Karin Chakwas, Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, Corporal Richard Jenkins, and Lieutenant Gregory Adams. the rest of the names were figures particularly unimpressive to her, but she recognized them all. She searched the list ten more times before landing, trying to find a name she didn't recognize. Groaning when she couldn't find any, not a single one.

Something occurred to her and she couldn't help but grin with relief when the name Nihlus was nowhere to be found. The thought never occurring to her that a spectre's name wouldn't be on a list of alliance personnel.

It was something, a possibility that things wouldn't happen the way they did in her sleep, and that was a good thing in her opinion, for all she knew the reapers didn't exist and Saren didn't go rogue. If all that was true, she wouldn't have to chase down the geth who wouldn't have ventured beyond the veil.

_But Garrus wouldn't be there._

Her stomach churned, feeling of guilt radiated from the pit of her stomach, _'Which would you rather have?'_ A voice in her mind asked._ 'The galaxy to be safe and no one who lost their lives thanks to Saren or the reapers to be dead? Or the galaxy falling apart while you fawn over a turian?_'

The idea that she rather let people die so she could have what she wanted made her sick. If it were really like that, was she any better than the people she killed?

Shaking herself off, she tried to reassure herself that she didn't even know if Garrus Vakarian was a character made up by her mind to help her cope with the rest of the dream. There was no guarantee that her dream was coming true anyways, it could all be a coincidence, so why worry. A deep breath and she felt better, running her hands through her hair she realized she forgot to cut it before leaving. Moving her fingers deftly, she threw it into a sloppy braid that she bobby pinned behind her ear, so it wouldn't touch her collar. Even out of uniform, it was a pet peeve.

When the announcement was made that they were ready to start letting passengers off, she took off her hoodie to tie around her waist, and retrieved the over-sized duffle she had crammed into her overhead compartment. Slinging it over her shoulder, something happened to her.

_The sniper rifle she had picked up hit her back with a thud after she slung it over her shoulder. There was a laugh, and the Commander spun around to who it was. "Something funny Vakarian?" She hissed._

_A cocky smile, or the turian equivalent anyway, was taking up his face. "Not to be mean or anything, Shepard, but you can't use a sniper rifle." She growled, he was right of course, as a vanguard her aim with a sniper rifle was unimpressive, but she wouldn't tolerate a subordinate telling her what she could and couldn't do._

_"I can use a sniper rifle just fine." In reality, she just liked carrying it around, it was her biggest gun and made her feel more powerful, but she wasn't about to admit that._

_He sighed, "Tell you what Shepard, give me the gun and I'll train you to use it after this mission. Deal?"_

_She sighed, pulling the weapon off her back, and tossing it to him. "Deal."_

She blinked, and found herself staring at the bustling shuttle port where she was supposed to meet Anderson. Either she had gotten off without realizing it, or one of the attendants had ushered her away, she wondered which it was, though it didn't really matter, and began to search for her Commanding Officer.

"Shepard!" His voice comes and she faces it, seeing him approach her. He walks up and she stands at attention to salute, he does the same and drops it before she drops it, "Now that that formality is out of the way, how about a hug for your old friend?" She laughs, and hugs her old friend, they had known each other a long time, him serving with her mother and acting as a father figure when her own father went missing. But at the moment, she was just glad to see him alive after what she saw in her dream.

"How was shore leave?" He asked after releasing her, smiling as he smoothed down his uniform. His uniform was very decorated, yet he thought nothing of her relaxed clothing, he had been around since she was thirteen years old, and had seen her more relaxed clothing before.

Shepard, struggled to remember what she did on that shore leave, it felt like three years had passed, rather than a night. "It was good, saw my mother while our time off overlapped. Spent the rest of my time at my apartment on earth, brushing up on my gaming."

"You've gotten the highest scores I've ever seen before." he teased, as they began to walk out of the shuttle port, headed for the nearby Alliance spaceport. She laughed, nudging him.

"Well I couldn't have done it if you didn't start me off on first person shooters in the first place." They continued to make small talk on the way to their destination, never once discussing the upcoming mission.

When they got to the proper hangar, before opening the locked door, he asked her with a large smile, "Are you ready to see our new ship XO?"

She nodded excitedly, "Let's see this fine ship everyone's been raving about since it's construction started." He unlocked the door and they walked in.

She gawked, at the ship before her. "It's marvelous, isn't it?" Anderson grinned excitedly, "The SSV Normandy SR-1. The first ship ever to be designed by both the alliance and the turian military, and a damn fine piece it is." He continued to gaze at it, smiling, completely unaware of the real reason why she was gawking.

This was the ship in her dream.

A/N: So I don't intend to update this often, I only did so this quickly out of sheer boredom. Most likely it will be updated weekly on Sundays or Mondays until summer starts, then the chapters will come out quicker.


	3. Meeting the Crew

**A/N: This story will will be a Shakarian story, but seeing as I used to be a Shenko fan, there will be references to Kaidan romance. You have been warned.**

* * *

_Flat on her stomach, her eyes were barely open to the world around her. The air smelt of blood, making her want to vomit, but something was telling her to get up. She pushed against the ground, her movements making her muscle scream. She got to her feet slowly, rubbing her temples, unaware of the blood getting on her hands._

_Her eyes scanned the area around her stopping when she saw a familiar face on the ground. "Garrus!" She bolted to him, working through the pain, dropping to her knees next to him. "Somebody help!" She pulled him close, "Somebody HELP HIM!"_

_She looked around, silently praying for someone to be there to help, but saw something that made her heart leap to her throat. "Anderson... Liara... Tali... Ashley... Kaidan... Oh god..." She stared at each of the faces, open eyes but not moving, not making a sound... not breathing._

_There were more, but she couldn't remember how to speak any more, she could only think to cry. So much death and destruction, why? What was the point? None of this made any sense, why did the reapers kill them? What purpose did it serve?_

_"This could have been prevented. All this death."_

_"It still can."_

_"But will Shepard recognize this chance?"_

_The commander looked behind her, over her shoulder, only to see the the council members standing there, in the middle of all the bodies. It was the asari councilor who spoke first, then the salarian, and finally the turian. On an instinct, her grip tightened on the turian in her arms protectively. "What do you mean?"_

_She didn't recognize her own voice, it was stained with fear, bitterness, loneliness. She hated those emotions, but another one hit her like a speeding skycar when a realization occurred to her. "This is all your fault. This happened because you wouldn't listen to me when I told you the reapers were the real threat! You wanted everything I stirred up gone." She was furious, she wanted to shoot each of them in the head. The only reason she didn't was that she had seen enough death to last a lifetime, maybe even two or three._

_"We didn't believe you because you had no proof except that vision from the destroyed beacon." The salarian told her coolly._

_"You presented nothing to demonstrate that Sovereign was not an isolated incident." The Turian added._

_"But now," The asari began, approaching Shepard slowly. "You know where to get the evidence. How to get the proof you need to show everyone."_

_Shepard let that sink in a moment: she could fix this. She could keep them all safe._

_No one had to die._

* * *

Shepard jolted awake, her fingers flying up to press against the inner wall of the sleeper pod she had decided to nap in. A dream that feels like three years leaves you more tired than you'd expect. Especially a dream that has as much death and destruction as hers did.

She stumbled out and noted that no one else was aboard yet, just her and Anderson, him having taken to arranging all his personal effects in the commanding officer's quarters. She stretched and worked her way down to communal women's bathroom, after all, why not shower before she has to worry about someone else being there with her?

On her way, she stopped to pull a uniform out of her armor locker almost automatically, her mind was racing, thoughts buzzing around in her head. Another ominous dream, still so much death and destruction. The reapers were mentioned again, and the name Sovereign too.

Was this a side effect of her previous dream, or were they both trying to tell her something? Was her first dream really coming true as she had begun to suspect or if she was just going crazy. When her deep thinking died down and her thoughts of reality returned, she was standing in the shower, hot water hitting her back, steam helping her to breath easy and clear her mind. She was her hair quickly before stepping out and toweling off. Feeling clean and in a more peaceful state of mind- all thought of the reapers, Sovereign, spectres, the geth, and a certain turian "with no romantic skills to speak of" pushed to the back of her mind for the time being- she dressed in her uniform and left the bathroom.

Walking towards the commanding officer's quarters to get Anderson, she began cracking her knuckles one by one. Anything to keep her mind from wandering, wishing for a distraction, maybe once the crew was on board she could at least have someone to talk to instead of making small talk with Anderson.

She ran into him it the middle of the crew deck, almost literally, "Are you ready to meet your crew Shepard? It's about time we let them begin to get acquainted with the ship."

She scratched the back of her neck a bit anxiously. "Yeah, that wouldn't be a bad idea." They walked to the airlock in a comfortable silence, the entire way she attempted to file away the memories of her dream. She wanted no preconceptions about the people she would be working with.

Walking out of the hangar, there was a group in alliance uniforms chatting excitedly with one another, an unconscious smile forcing it's way on her face, Shepard took a deep breath. This was her favorite thing about being a commander. "Everyone, fall in!" Everyone scrambled to get into formation as Shepard and Anderson stood next to one another in front of them.

Better to brief them before they had a chance to get distracted by the each squad, the commander began to put faces to names.

She saw a man in a wheelchair and a baseball cap that read SR-1, _'Joker'_ she thought._ "You stole the Normandy, got blown up by the Collectors and took us on a suicide mission to the galactic core...and I haven't mutinied once! Not once!"_

A thirty-two year old biotic with dark slicked back hair,_ 'Kaidan_.' _"When you look out and see something this beautiful...well, it really helps you understand what we're fighting to save."_

A female doctor with short ash colored hair, '_Chakwas.' "I thought Alenko's biotic display might've broken Jenkins' back, but Jenkins pops up and yells, 'That was awesome!' Ah, Jenkins. Soldiers like him make the Alliance great."_

She continued to pick out people from the crowd as Anderson told the crew that they would have the night to settle into the new ship before they would test out the ship's IES stealth system on a run to Eden Prime the next day. She began to zone out until she heard her name. "...and this is Commander Elizabeth Shepard. Your XO for this assignment. Now, Commander, do you have anything to say to the crew?"

She thought a moment, "Yes sir I do." Anderson stepped back and Shepard stepped forward. "Now, your previous higher ups have had their own rules, the alliance has it's own rules, and Anderson has his rules. I, however, have only three rules." She glared at her crew members in a steady gaze that never fixated on one person but moved to everyone in the formation. "One, if you are given an order, you follow it. Two, you will respect me and Anderson. Three, you will respect your fellow crew members."

Her eyes got darker and her jaw clenched tightly as she spoke her next words. "If you do not follow these orders, I will NOT hesitate to have you reassigned. Am I understood?"

There was a resounding cry of "Hooyah!" throughout the crew before Shepard lightened up with a yell of "On the command of fall out, fall out to the Normandy. Fall out!"

The formation disbanded and everyone headed on to the ship, Anderson and Shepard following behind them. "That was rather intense Shepard, even for you. Especially for you. " He commented to her jokingly as they followed their crew.

She pursed her lips in silent agreement._ I'm just stressed. I just don't want things to turn out that way again_. She wanted to say that, but knew he would question her sanity.

She forced a smile. "I suppose it was, wasn't it?" she rubbed the back of her neck abashedly and laughed. "I'm going to check on our pilot, see what he thinks of the ship. After all, it is more advanced than most alliance ships, and likely anything he's piloted before."

"You do that, and I'll catch up with you in a moment." Anderson commented before walking off.

_'No sign of Nihlus.'_ she smiled. _'Maybe I'm safe.'_ She turned and walked towards the bridge, feeling relieved. As she approached, she heard Joker and Kaidan discussing the ship.

"This is amazing." Joker's voice came, "I can make this baby dance." He said with a joy filled laugh.

"I certainly hope so. I've been told you're the best damn helmsman in the alliance." Shepard interrupted, causing Joker to spin around in his chair and Kaidan to leap out of the copilot's seat to salute, she looked at the him and felt a twinge of of sadness as she realized that this was the lieutenant who had made her fall for him, not the commander who broke her heart, or the major who tried to steal her back from Garrus.

"At ease lieutenant Alenko." she murmured, fighting a blush. "I said to respect me. Not salute every time you hear my voice." He relaxed, and sat back down.

"Yeah, that little speech of yours," Joker grinned at her. "Didn't intimidate me a bit."

Shepard leaned down beside his ear. "Maybe I should try harder than." He shivered as she pulled away, cracking her knuckles with a smile.

"Shepard! Would you come here?" The commander headed to the CIC where Anderson's voice came from without acknowledging the fact that Joker was about to respond to her "threat." Getting there she saluted Anderson, no sense in letting the crew see how close they were and get any ideas about their history, after all.

"There's someone I want you to meet." Anderson told her after she dropped her salute. Shepard's stomach sank, her eyes slowly trailing to the turian beside him.

"This is Nihlus. He's a spectre who'll be observing the stealth system test for the council."

_'Crap...'_


	4. Warning a Spectre

_"This is Nihlus. He's a spectre who'll be observing the stealth system test for the council."_

_Shepard shook the turian's hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you, am I to assume you already know who I am?"_

_"Yes Commander, you have a very impressive track record." He told her with a polite smile, "Joined the service at 18 like your parents, the only survivor on Akuze."_

_He watched her countenance as he said the word Akuze, judging for any change in emotion, but her polite smile did not falter. "A shame my fellow crewman had to die for me to gain prestige, but I'm grateful for their sacrifice and all it has gained me."_

_Nihlus nodded as though he were pleased with this answer._

"Screw Nihlus. Screw Anderson. Screw everyone." She hissed the words out, pressing her back to the mako and sinking to the floor. She was sure that she could've handled that better, he seemed pleased with her answer, but she was shaken throughout the entire conversation.

Hearing the name Nihlus made her tremble. Hearing the word spectre made her nauseous. And hearing the word Akuze made her sure she was about to cry. She made herself stay calm through the internal frustration.

She pulled her legs closer to her to sit Indian style and cradled a six pack that had somehow made it's way into the ship's refrigerator in her lap. _'Probably Anderson's stash.'_ She considered cruelly._ 'Oh well. He won't have a chance to miss it.'_

She pulled her hoodie tighter around her body, thankful that the rest of the crew was asleep, meaning she could walk around in her shorts and tank top. She would be asleep too, but anxiety was beginning to take over her, her mind beginning to consider ways to try and save people.

Jenkins would be easy enough, just tell Anderson that the corporal was too excitable for the ground team, he'd have to stay on board, and wouldn't get shot by the geth.

Nihlus however was a tougher goal, if she warned him, would he listen? _'Probably not.'_ She decided as she pulled out a beer and uncapped it. She wanted to tell Anderson about her dream or vision or whatever the hell it was, but by the time she saw Nihlus, everyone needed Anderson for something and she didn't get a chance to talk with him.

That was her excuse anyway, though the now empty bottle in her hand was making her realize that she could've of just pulled him aside at any moment to discuss this with him. Pulling out another bottle she forced herself to consider the fact that if she thought the idea was crazy, she would know that so would he.

She frowned regretfully, as she wished she could trust that he wouldn't think she was going crazy, but any sane person would likely think she was. Hell she thought she was, and with as far as Anderson would go to protect people, especially herself, she would get shipped off for a psych eval.

"I thought I heard someone down here." The voice caused her to look up at the turian with an inquisitive glance.

"Hello Nihlus." She pulled out another beer, silently daring herself to drink all six without vomiting. "I'd offer you one, but they're levo not dextro."

"As expected on a human ship." He said. "What brings you down here? And the beer too?"

Her grip tightened on the bottle til her knuckles turned white. "Couldn't sleep. And less chance I accidentally wake somebody up down here." She took a large swig. "What about you?"

"Thought I'd check out the ship before tomorrow's run. To see the inner workings of the stealth system the council is interested in." He told her, and she couldn't stop the laughter that spilled out of her mouth. "What's so funny?"

"You're such a liar." She smiled wickedly, willing herself not to chuck the empty bottle she was holding at his head. Even if her vision, as that's what it had to be as she had decided after all coincidences don't happen on this scale, hadn't told her what his true intentions were, she had learned something else from it.

"I don't know what you're talking-"

"Those stupid subharmonics turians give off, gave you away." She interrupted. "I know what you're really here for. The council isn't interested in the stealth system. They're interested in me."

After a moment of deliberation Nihlus commented thoughtfully. "I'm impressed, most humans don't pick up on the subharmonics."

"Point in my favor, right?" She tore out another beer. "I used to date a turian." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either.

"So if you're aware that you're being considered for a position as a spectre," he began thoughtfully, "why set yourself up to have a hangover on tomorrow's mission?"

She considered that. "Because I don't have anything better to do?" Even as the word came out of her mouth they seemed stupid, like more like a defensive excuse than a real reason. She wasn't even sure why she had started drinking.

Did she think it would help with the pain? The guilt? The anxiety? Did she think it would give her the courage to speak up? So if things turned out differently than she said, differently than she remembered, people would just write it off as drunken ramblings? "That's a very interesting reason." Nihlus' voice brought her back from her thoughts and she realized with a frown that she had downed the last bottle in her haze.

Well if she was going to warn Nihlus, now was as good a time as any she supposed. "Nihlus, I have to tell you something." She sat forward and rested her elbows on her knees, watching him shift his weight and become more attentive to her words. "Tomorrow when we stop at Eden Prime to pick up the prothean beacon," she paused to watch his mandibles twitch slightly in surprise. "Geth are going to attack when we're about twenty minutes away. Lured out from beyond the veil and controlled by a turian spectre by the name of Saren."

Nihlus struggled to control his surprise, "Saren you say? Why would Saren be leading geth against Eden Prime?" She slowly rose to her feet, and placed her shaking hand against the Mako to stabilize her shaking legs.

She couldn't tell if it was the nervousness or the alcohol making her shake, or her stomach churn, but at this point she didn't care. "He was indoctrinated by a member of an ancient race, the race that wiped out the protheans 50,000 years ago and many other races before that. The _Reapers."_ She spat out the last word with pure hatred, they were the reason she couldn't live a normal life, retire somewhere sunny and tropical and be happy with a little family of her own. "They're controlling him so they can destroy the beacon and we won't be warned about them coming to destroy us all. All the advanced sentient races, they want to harvest us to make more reapers." Her voice was beginning to break.

Nihlus sighs, and she can barely hear it though, she's so frustrated, on the edge of an emotional breakdown. "Commander you're drunk and you're not making any-"

"Humor me." she interrupted. "Saren will kill you tomorrow if you let him. If you let your guard down." She looked him in the eyes and said her next words in the most commanding voice she had. "Don't let your guard down. Promise me you won't let him kill you."

Nihlus hears the sincerity in her voice and knowing that she believes it, decides to humor her, "Alright Commander, I won't let him kill me."

* * *

**A/N: While I will continue writing this story, I'd like to write some Shakarian one shots to help me get my Garrus fill until I get to a point in this story where I can do that. I'd like ideas from anyone who has them, and that's ideas, not places to find them. If you have ideas PM me with them. I would be willing to do lemons though I'd prefer not to. Please and thank you!**


	5. Discussion with the Captain

**Before I begin I would like to specify since next chapter is about Eden Prime, that I see no correlation between CPL Jenkin's death and Ashley's recruitment, despite the game mentioning it in passing. If you'd like to debate this with me before next chapter feel free. (PS still looking for one shot ideas. Please and thank you.)**

* * *

_She squeezed the trigger and the kickback nearly knocked her to the ground, if it hadn't been for Garrus behind her, holding her in place, it probably would have. His taloned hand rested on her shoulder his chest was against her back and it was completely distracting, she was she her shot had been miserable thanks to such a distraction. They were all alone on the planet, everyone else was on the ship getting some well deserved rest after having been played the fool by the illusive man on the collector ship, and that changed the atmosphere between her and Garrus._

_If she didn't have this cool down time with him, she probably would have been strangling Miranda to get the illusive man's location. So that she could go strangle him. Luckily Garrus intercepted her on the way to Miranda's office._

_She had wanted to impress him by picking up the sniper rifle quickly, but her plan wasn't working so well. Or so she thought until his voice hit her ears "That was amazing Shepard, for you anyway. You hit the bullseye spot on." He could tell with his visor._

_Pride surged through her, "Well I have a good teacher." She looked over her shoulder and smiled. Their faces were inches apart, and if he was human she'd probably be leaning in to kiss him, but since turian's didn't exactly have lips, she wasn't sure how he'd react._

_He frowned at her, causing her to mirror him. "What's wrong?" she asked, worry flooding her voice, she had been especially worried since dealing with Sidonis, wondering if Garrus regretted leaving him alive._

_"Are you sure that this is what you want Shepard?" He asked sounding rather helpless as his hands slid from her waist. The vibrations of his chest as he spoke made her shiver._

_"About what Garrus? The sniper rifle? Or being with you?" She pressed her body closer to him. "Because with the sniper rifle, the kickback makes me a little nervous, but being with you? I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life."_

_His gloved hand unconsciously began to stroke the flesh under his his palm. "But you could have someone closer to home, who know's what their doing. Why would you want to be with me? Unless you suddenly have a turian fetish that is."_

_She laughs, the sound music to his ears. "I don't want someone closer to home, Garrus. Right now, closer to home has either abandoned me or means a part of Cerberus. I don't want that, I want somebody who's got my six, someone I can trust, and that's you."_

_He sighs, relieved. He leans forward and presses his forehead to hers and smiles. "I'll always be there for you Shepard."_

* * *

Shepard's eyes opened lazily, not wanting to wake up from such a peaceful memory. Yet she had to, despite the fact that her head was killing her, and her stomach was doing flips. As she rolled over so she was on her back instead of her stomach, her muscles cried and screamed in protest, but she managed the 180 degree rotation and rested her hands on her stomach.

'_Where am I?'_ Her thoughts were racing, she didn't remember such a comfortable spot on the Normandy. The surface beneath her was padded, and she couldn't think of anywhere that-

_'The Mako!' _She sat up fast, groaning then rubbing her temples memory of the previous night coming back to her. After her conversation with the spectre, she had taken to putting the empty bottles back in the case they came in, Nihlus had walked off as she did so. Where he went, she didn't know and didn't care, so why bother wondering. The drunk part of her mind decided it would be a good idea to hide the bottles in the Mako, but as soon as she got in, her body succumbed to the emotional exhaustion of the day.

Fingers trailing down from her temples she kneaded the skin she touched attempting to ease the muscle aches as she cursed her decision to start drinking. _'I was drunk when I warned Nihlus, he probably didn't believe a word I said.' _A deep breath as her fingers moved back up and untangled her hair. she bit her lip and groaned. _'I have to just suck it up and tell Anderson what's going on. Whether he thinks I'm going crazy or not.'_

Slowly opening the door of the Mako and sliding out with a groan, leaving the discarded beer bottles behind, her first steps were uncoordinated and made her wince, causing her to vow never to drink again. Though that was a vow even she knew she was unlikely to keep, even as she struggled to compose herself.

She did not bother to try to change clothes before going to see Anderson, she had given up any sense of normalcy that a uniform would provide her, not to mention that the sooner she got to Anderson the sooner she she could spill her guts without vomiting. She would leave out insignificant bits of information, like the way she spent the night with Kaidan before Ilos, or Garrus before both the Omega 4 relay and the invasion of Earth. Telling him about what was waiting for them on Eden Prime and about the Reapers was the most important thing right now, she just hoped he believed her.

The looks from her subordinates observing her as she headed for the conference room to look for the captain, at this point she didn't care. She was a woman on a mission, and nothing would delay her now. Steps away from the conference room door, she stopped to take a deep breath and compose herself.

It wasn't too far fetched to hope he would accept this, was it? After all he had been able to accept the warning the beacon gave her last time around. _'Now or never I suppose.' _Slim fingers pressed to the access panel of the door and the doors slid open to reveal Nihlus and Anderson immediately turn from each other to her. "Good you're both here."

She spun to face the door and with a few swipes of her finger on the access panel, it was locked as she focused on her 'I'm in charge here' persona. If she didn't have that in her personality, then she'd have a lot more people exercising the right to disobey suicidal orders. "Anderson, there's a very pressing issue I have to discuss with you a topic I have briefly touched with Nihlus last night." She cleared her throat and nodded to the turian. "However there is more to what I have to say than what I warned our turian friend about."

Anderson eyed her a bit cautiously "Alright Shepard, you have our attention. What's on your mind?" The woman in the room gestured to the seating.

"This is probably gonna take a while Anderson, the two of you might want to sit down." They obeyed and she was relieved at how composed she sounded. "Joker turn off the comms in the room, I don't want you listening in."

There was a startled undertone in his voice, he was surprised she knew that it was something she would do. Though it was masked by mock hurt. "I'm upset that you think I would do such a thing, Commander." The commander only responds with an unseen roll of her eyes as he turns of the comms in the room.

"Now what's this about Shepard?" Anderson asks as he sits down.

"Am I to believe the two of you already discussed the conversation I had with with Nihlus?" She ignored his question to ask her own.

Nihlus was the one to answer, "I decided that if you wanted him to know you'd tell him yourself."

Anderson asked his question again, sounding more curious, but it barely registered. Her mind was racing, trying to find the right words to use, not an easy thing, but especially hard with a hangover.

"Last night I warned Nihlus about a possible interference with our mission." She began slowly, "We will be met by geth on Eden Prime, receiving a transmission about it when we are 17 minutes out."

"Geth?" Beyond the veil?" Anderson was startled by this new information, but Nihlus sat quietly. As Shepard had divulged this to him last night, it was hardly new information. "Why would there be geth on a human colony?"

She wrung her hands. "They're being lead by a spectre named Saren." She watched Anderson's expression morph. "You recognize the name don't you? He's the one who killed all those civilians and prevented you from becoming a spectre yourself."

"How do you know that Shepard? That's classified information?" His voice was tight; he was straining himself to avoid getting mad.

"The truth is, I had a dream the night before I came to the Normandy." She stared down at the sneakers she was thankful she had thrown on before heading to the cargo bay last night. "Everything that happened up to just before me warning Nihlus, happened in my dream."

When she looked up, both men were staring incredulously. "Until I saw Nihlus, I chalked the déjà vu up to my imagination and coincidences." She chewed her lip, becoming nervous under her scrutiny. "But there's no way my imagination would have told me there'd be a spectre on board, and coincidences don't happen on that scale."

"Shepard, I don't know if I can believe you." Anderson was speaking cautiously as though he expected a psychotic break down.

"I wouldn't believe me either." She chuckled, nervously running a hand through her hair. "Anderson, Nihlus, I know it sounds crazy, but promise me that if we get the transmission telling us Eden Prime is under attack, you'll take this seriously."

Before they even had a chance to respond, Joker came on over the comm. "I know I'm not supposed to interrupt, commander, but I thought you should see this."

"Play it, Joker." Anderson interrupted tensely, watching as a video of Eden prime being attacked was played in front of him, two voices were heard, one that Shepard recognized as Ashley, and another marine. When the video finished he and Nihlus stared at Shepard, as she kept an _I told you so _look on her face. "Joker, ETA?"

"About seventeen minutes Captain."

"Alright, Commander you have my attention." Nihlus tells her.

"And mine, but after you suit up, it seems you'll have some fighting to do when we reach Eden Prime." Anderson instructs with a tight nod. She salutes and turns to leave, but stops at the door and turns to face them with a troubled look. "What's the matter Shepard?"

"Jenkins is too excitable sir. If he comes with me he'll get himself killed. I want him to stay on board, and get reassigned after this mission." She tells him chewing on her lip.

"If you think that's best." He tells her, "It'll just be you and Lieutenant Alenko then."

"Thank you sir," she hesitates another moment. "and Nihlus, don't forget what I told you." With that she turns around and leaves the room.

Anderson is confused as he turns to the spectre. "What did she tell you about?"

Nihlus stares at the doors as he replies, "Nothing. Nothing at all."


	6. Eden Prime

**A/N: First of all, I'd like to apologize for not updating in so long. The first weekend I was supposed to, my sister's wedding, then I had a 3 page MLA paper to write for English, then studying for finals. But now, I'm FREE! *cough cough* Please enjoy my 2,992 word labor of love.**

Staring at the helm of her armor she found herself hating it, the armor the alliance provided her was very simple compared to the armor Cerberus let her buy, where she could mix and match pieces of armor without it protecting any less. She definitely missed the system in her cabin that let her customize the patterns on her armor, rather than having to give up a design she liked for better protection.

Then here there were distinctions between "light armor", and "medium armor", not to mention the "heavy armor" that she couldn't wear. It made her appreciate her black and blue, camouflage, N7 armor. She slowly pulled on her undersuit and tucked her hair into it- she couldn't have it getting caught on anything or catching fire- she glared at the light onyx armor in her locker. She missed her old gear, custom fit to her body, but it couldn't be helped, not until she regained cerberus backing.

Their money was one thing she didn't mind about the organization. Possibly the only thing.

"Ready, commander?" A voice behind her asks, making her jump with surprise as she realizes that not only had she been snuck up on, but she finished putting on her armor without thinking about it. She turns around slowly, to see who spoke.

"Kaidan, don't sneak up on me like that." she doesn't even notice her use of his first name, an instinct of hers. They may have just met, but she feels as though she already knows him. "I'm ready. Are you?" She brushes past them, heading for the elevator down to the cargo bay so they can be dropped in.

"Aye aye ma'am." He gives no indication that he notices he casual use of his first name either, as he follows her.

When Joker comes over the comms to tell that the stealth systems are engaged, they stop at the weapons bench, allowing her to pick up two heavy pistols and two shotguns. One set for her, and one set for him.

While they position their weapons on their back, she notices that he looks uneasy. "What's on your mind Kai-" she catches it that time, reminding herself that he's not her friend. Not yet. "-solider?"

"Nothing ma'am." he lies, eliciting a frown from his executive officer.

She lowers her voice on her next words, aware that Anderson and Nihlus' presence next the Mako may be making him more cautious of what he says. "Speak freely lieutenant. I want to hear what it is you have to say."

He speaks in the same hushed tone. "It's just that, well, why isn't Jenkins coming with us, ma'am?" He shifts uncomfortably. "After all, he was supposed to be part of the ground team, wasn't he? Plus he's from Eden prime, so he knows the lay of the land, it seems like it'd be smart to bring him."

_'No wonder he was nervous,' _she thinks as she sighs _'who would want to get caught questioning their superior officer's orders.' _"I requested that he be removed from the ground team for his own good, lieutenant. He was too excitable, too excited about killing. On the battlefield that gets you killed, and sometimes your teammates too." She shrugs letting her eyes dart to a sniper rifle, she half wants to take it, but knows it might seem odd for a vanguard to start using a sniper rifle out of nowhere. "I don't need someone like that on my team and I don't want it either."

He seems to relax, making her wonder if he was afraid that she had decided against Jenkins going because he upset her or something similar. He walks off toward Nihlus and Anderson as she decides to grab the sniper rifle, not caring that she shouldn't know how to use it. She slings it across her back and marches over to the three men as they discuss the mission.

Whatever they were saying as she walked up was interrupted by Joker coming on again "Somebody was doing some serious digging here, Captain." Shepard shakes her head in a degree of sadness, knowing that even when his shift is over he can't move freely around the ship talking to people. She wonders if he gets lonely there without EDI, and makes herself a silent promise to stop up there and chat with him more often instead of spending all her free time flirting with a certain lieutenant this time around.

Not that she was going to anyways, she's not interested anymore.

Anderson looks at her, raises an eyebrow at the rifle she has but shrugs it off, he knows she never been one to carry around something she won't use. "Alright Shepard, you and Alenko are the muscle in this operation. Go in heavy and head straight for the dig site."

"What about survivors, Captain?" Kaidan pipes up, sounding nervous again.

"Helping survivors is a secondary objective. The beacon is the top priority." Anderson tells him, but turns to look directly at Shepard. "But I trust your judgment here, Shepard. Do what you think you have to do to finish this."

"Aye aye sir." She adjusts her helm almost anxiously.

"Approaching drop point one." Joker comes on. And Nihlus walks past them, prompting Kaidan to look at him questioningly.

The turian answers his questioning look. "I'll be going in alone. I move faster on my own." Shepard bite her lip as he gets ready to run.

"Be careful out there." She orders, not caring that she was in no place to give orders to a spectre. The turian nods then runs and jumps to get a move on.

Anderson cuts into the silence. "Nihlus will scout ahead. He'll feed you status reports throughout the mission; otherwise, I want radio silence." She nearly rolls her eyes _'Like I'll need them.' _She can't help but pay attention though, to the fact that his voice is calm, despite everything she's told him.

He believes that Saren isn't something a spectre and his protegee can't handle.

Shepard wants to voice her concerns about Nihlus's death. She's prevented one death already through her actions, but she won't know if she's saved Nihlus until the mission is over. "We've got his back, Captain." She forces out, as she remind herself it's too late to do anything more for the turian, all she can do now is fight her way to catch up to him and hope he heads her warning before it's too late.

"The mission is yours now, Shepard. Good luck."

Not another word is spoken before Joker announces the approach to drop point two.

* * *

The commander and the lieutenant it the ground within two minutes of Joker's word, and Shepard immediately pulls out her heavy pistol out, she'd rather be safe than sorry. Even if she could clearly remember every point an enemy attacked, she wasn't sure exactly how much had changed from then to now. She's so lost in thought she barely notices Kaidan's "Ship perimeter secure, Commander!"

She notices however, when Nihlus comes over the radio. "This place got hit hard commander. Hostiles everywhere. Keep your guard up." Part of her wants to mock him, she already told him that she knew what was happening here, another wanted to keep him on the radio so she could remind him not to trust Saren when the time came.

She jogged forward though, managing to maintain her silence until Kaidan saw the gas bags and exclaimed "What the hell are those?!"

"They're just gas bags Alenko." She tells him with a sigh as she continues to jog along. "They're non sentient and completely harmless. Not to mention native to Eden prime, so we should just leave them be."

"Aye aye ma'am." He responds, clearly a little confused that she knew that.

She decides to ease his confusion with a lie, "I took a zoology class when the Alliance sent me to college." She knew he would just accept it, since you needed a degree to become an officer.

They continue on until she is struck by a familiar feeling, there are enemies getting close. She hides behind a tall rock and ushers Kaidan to do the same. She rushed forward, from rock to rock, gesturing to her lieutenant that he should stay put.

After about three rocks, there is shooting that hits the ground directly behind her feet causing her to unconsciously activate her biotic barrier before she and Kaidan start shooting. A few well-placed shots and the geth are out of commission, Kaidan's questions come quickly. "Were those geth? How did you know they were there? What's going on here, Commander?"

"Yes." She answers only his first question before moving on, while she tried to keep herself for search for a heat clip release button. The feel of it slowly cooling down it her hands was foreign, in a few moments she'd be able to shoot again. It was one of the things she couldn't decide whether she prefers not having to search for heat clips or instant cool down. Not that it matters what she prefers, she's stuck with what she's got afterall.

They continue on - with Kaidan saving his questions for later - shooting when necessary, always keeping their barriers up. When their pistols would over heat she'd resort to warp while he made use of sabotage, and she was beginning to remember why he was useful to have around when fighting electronics, geth in particular. "I've got some burned out buildings here, Shepard. Lot of bodies." Nihlus tells her after they finish off a "team" of geth recon drones.

"I'm gonna check it out. I'll try to catch up with you at the digsite." He continues, and Shepard has to bite her lip to try and get him to meet up with them now. She's worried, she wants to save everyone, but knows that's impossible.

_'Please let this be a death I can prevent.' _She prays, swallowing her words. They take out another three drones and she knows they're getting close to Ashley, and her heart aches for the woman she left behind on Virmire. Ashley may have been anti- alien, but when she died, Shepard had still been trying to change her mind, leaving the twenty-nine year old to wonder if she could've presented her a new viewpoint given the time.

She spotted the pink and white phoenix armor of the soldier she was looking for, the black haired woman running and diving as she shot at the geth she was trying to escape. The troopers spiked a civilian, scaring Ashley into running again and taking cover behind a large rock. Shepard hightails it to get down there, willing her barrier back up before shooting in just the right place to take out each trooper.

"Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212." The soldier begins after the battle is over. "You the one in charge here, ma'am?"

"Are you wounded, Williams?" Shepard asks, brushing over the question.

"A few scrapes and burns, nothing serious." Ashley tells the woman, she was protected by heavy armor so she didn't take much damage. "The others weren't so lucky. We were patrolling the perimeter when the attack hit, and..." she trailed off with a heartbroken expression. "We tried to get off a distress call, but our communication was cut. We tried to double back to beacon, but we walked right into an ambush."

Shepard nods, "I understand." She shifts her weight uncomfortably, wanting to change the subject. "Can you lead us to the dig site, Williams?"

"Aye aye ma'am." She starts toward the dig site with Shepard and Kaidan in tow. "The beacon is at the far end of this trench."

They get close to the digsite and Shepard instinctively takes cover just before more geth troopers show up and start shooting, she slips through the battle in almost a trance, fighting geth had become second nature to her over the years, she knew exactly where to shoot, what worked well against them. The only thing she struggled with was remembering that she couldn't use charge or shockwave, they were particularly useful talents when she had them.

It wasn't long before they had finished and were where the beacon _was supposed to be, _but wasn't. "This is the dig site. The beacon was right here, it must have been moved."

"By who?" Kaidan asks, exasperation in his voice. "Our side? Or the geth?"

"Hard to say, maybe we'll know more after we check the research camp."

Shepard pinches the bridge of her nose under her helm. "Think anyone got out of here alive?" She already knew the answer, but it seemed right to ask.

"If they were lucky. Maybe hiding up in the camp." Ashley tells her. "It's just at the top of this ridge. Up these ramps."

Shepard continues on without another word. "Change of plans Shepard." She hears Nihlus say over the radio. "There's a small spaceport up ahead. I want to check it out, I'll wait for you there." She struggles again to keep her mouth shut, to keep herself from telling him no, there's nothing she could say to stop him.

"Looks like they hit the camp hard."

"Good place for an ambush, keep your guard up."

Shepard can't help but laugh, causing her squadmates to give her odd looks. "Do you realize that the fact you realize it would make a good place for an ambush, means it's a terrible place for an ambush?"

"I guess I didn't think about it that way." Kaidan grins, but his grin and hers are killed by the sight of the husks moving on top of the spikes. "Oh god! They're still alive!"

"What did the geth do to them?" Ashley cries out, they all start shooting at the husks, Shepard uses warp when her weapon overheats and the husks are taken out in no time. Shepard directs her team to the portable housing set up nearby and sets Kaidan decrypting the security lock, relieved that she doesn't have try to remember how.

While Kaidan is busy Shepard turn to Williams, "I don't think Alenko and I introduced ourselves yet." She shifts her weight, uncomfortable under the other woman's gaze. "I'm commander Elizabeth Shepard and this is Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. We're from the SSV Normandy SR-1."

Ashley salutes, prompting Shepard to salute back. "It's an honor to meet you ma'am."

"I'm done commander!" Kaidan announces as the door opens, they go inside and the woman breathes a sigh of relief.

"Humans! Thank the maker!" She looks as though she's ready to throw her arms around one of them.

"Hurry! Close the door! before they come back." The man cries scaredly, looking as though he might cry.

"Don't worry. We'll protect you if they come back, but for the time being there's nothing out there to hurt you." Shepard assures the man.

"Thank you, I think we'll be okay now." The woman speaks again.

"You're Dr. Warren, right? The one in charge of the excavation." Ashley recognizes the woman. "Do you know what happened to the beacon?" Shepard is tempted to just keep moving, but she remembers needing to deal with this man.

"It was moved to the spaceport this morning. Manuel and I stayed behind to pack up camp." Dr. Warren informs them. "When the attack came, the marines held them off long enough to hide." She sighs and shakes her head. "They gave their lives to save us."

"No one is saved!" Manuel cries out. "The age of humanity has ended! Soon only ruin and corpses will remain."

"What's wrong with your assistant?" Shepard asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Manuel has a brilliant mind, but he's a bit... unstable. Genius and madness are two sides of the same coin." She seems concerned

"Is it madness to see the future? To see the destruction rushing towards us? To understand there is no escape? No hope? No, I am not mad. I am the only sane one left!" He tells them, visibly shaking.

"I gave him an extra dose of his meds after the attack." Dr. Warren admits.

"Say good night, Manuel." Shepard throws her fist at him, the hit lads and knocks him out. "I'll call in someone to get you out of here." Then she walks away from the clearly distressed woman and collapsed man.

"That may have been a bit extreme, Commander." Kaidan tells her.

She sighs readying her comms to radio the Normandy as she keeps walking. "He needed time for the meds to kick in."

* * *

Nihlus moves from cover to cover as he approaches the spaceport, he doesn't know for sure what's going to be waiting for him, but it's better to be safe than sorry. "Saren?" he voices upon recognizing the turian standing there. _'Shepard: two for two.' _He thinks, hoping she's not three for three.

"Nihlus." Saren says, flashing the turian equivalent of a smile.

"This isn't your mission Saren, what are you doing here?" Nihlus growls out, approaching his fellow spectre, grip tightening on his weapon.

"The council thought you could use some help on this one." Nihlus starts to relax at his words, but Shepard's warning reminds him not to be so disillusioned.

"Less than an hour ago this was a covert pick up operation. Nothing had gone wrong." Nihlus snaps at him, raising his pistol. "The council wouldn't have had enough time to send you, and you to catch up, even if I had told them what was going on."

Saren growls.

* * *

Upon finishing the call, Shepard pinches the bridge of her nose and begins to reconsider her decision to spend more time talking to Joker. It was hard enough to get through a single conversation with the man.

Two shots loud fired nearby tear her from her train of thought and made her tense, "That didn't sound good." Kaidan comments, worriedly.

Shepard takes off running, _'Crap. Nihlus please be okay...'_


	7. Normandy The Beacon is Secure

She ran as fast as she could, pumping her legs as hard as she could. She couldn't catch her breath, a fact that that was emphasized by the weight of her armor, she was sure if it was the running, or the sheer panic. Maybe it was a combination of the two, but she didn't care at this point, all she could think about was finding out if Nihlus was alive.

She takes out a few more geth without a thought, but freezes when she sees Nihlus.

He lays on the ground, appearing to perfectly still, totally motionless. Shepard wonders if she's going to cry. All the effort she put to keeping him alive, wasted, simply because he was too stubborn to heed her warning. She picks up her movements, walking now, cursing internally too loud to hear Kaidan and Ashley commenting on the reaper, Sovereign.

She takes slow deep breaths as she approaches the fallen turian, quietly murmuring a turian blessing Garrus had taught her when they were educating one another on the customs of their species. Slowly sinking to her knees and staring at the bullet hole in the abdomen of his chest piece she-

'Wait a minute.' she freezes again. 'This wasn't where he was shot last time.' She recalls him having taken a bullet to the head, just under the fringe. 'This shouldn't have killed him.'

Hastily she unclips the chestplate of his armor and yanks it from his body, revealing a black undersuit stretched tight across the plates of his very turian body. In the undersuit there is a bullet hole corresponding directly to the hole in his armor, having hit directly between two plates. What she immediately notices though, is a faint, labored breathing that had been hidden by his armor, and now, nearly brings tears of relief to her eyes.

"Kaidan, I need medigel, stat." Shepard tells her lieutenant, ripping the undersuit near the wound to expose it enough to apply medigel. "Ashley, I need you to radio the Normandy for me, request a medical team to retrieve our wounded comrade."

"Aye aye ma'am." Ashley answers before stepping aside to make the call.

Kaidan scrambles to get the medi gel as Shepard picks up the pistol she set beside her, and points it at the crates. "If you don't stand up and show yourself right now, I will not hesitate to shoot. Am I understood?"

The spaceport worker pops up from behind the crates, "Don't- Don't shoot! I'm one of you! I'm human."

Shepard gives him an irritated look, then turns her gaze to Kaidan, "Apply medi gel, then pressure until Chakwas underlings get here. Just like you would on a human wound." She felt her advice was sound, she may not be a doctor, but help patch up enough of your teammates in the field, you learn a few things. Not to mention, she had come to fancy herself an expert on turian physiology.

She stands, to give Kaidan space to follow her orders, then addresses the dock worker, lowering her weapon. "You need to be more careful, people who hide from me, tend to get a bullet to the head."

"I... I'm sorry." He apologizes rather breathlessly. "I wasn't hiding from you- I was hiding from those creatures. Mechas. Whatever they are." He swallows hard. "My name's Powell, I saw what happened to your turian buddy over there. The other turian shot him."

"Other turian?" Kaidan pipes up from his position next to Nihlus, curiosity piqued.

"Yeah. Your buddy recognized him, called him by name. I think it was-"

"Excuse me," Shepard interrupts, turning on her omni tool. "Would you mind describing the events for a recording? That way you won't have to be asked to recount the events again for official record."

Powell nods. "Yeah, I don't mind."

"First establish identity for the recording, then describe the event." Shepard tells him, it feels like she's wasting time, she knows she should be moving on to take out those bombs before they explode, but something in her gut tells her to do this.

"I'm Powell, I work here at the docks." He starts, speaking loudly to make sure his voice is picked up. "I was sleeping behind the crates when the attack started, it hid me from whatever, or whoever was attacking. The turian on the ground was looking around, saw another turian, called him by name. Saren. Saren knew your turian, called him by his name too, Nihlus. The started talking, got agressive real quick.

"Nihlus accuses Saren of lying to him, points a gun at him." Powell swallows hard again, growing nervous under Shepard's watchful eyes. "Saren points his gun at Nihlus. They both shoot, Saren fired a second or two earlier though I think. Saren hit Nihlus in the gut, and Nihlus nailed him in the shoulder." He pauses, trying to remember if there was anything else. "Then Saren walks off, cursing in turian, I guess."

Shepard nearly sighs, that won't do her much good against the council, probably a waste of time. "Thank you for your statement." She is about to stop recording when another voice coming from behind her makes her pause.

"You were right Shepard." Nihlus forces out, halfway unconscious and barely breathing enough to make the words loud enough for the recording. "Saren tried to kill me. He didn't though, and I owe that to you," He falls unconscious again, as Shepard smiles and ends her recording.

"Don't strain yourself." She tells the turian with a slight smile. "Help will be here soon."

Ashley reappears next to her, "A team is on the way, they'll be a few minutes though."

Shepard nods. "The beacon was moved to the other platform, right?" Powell nods. "And that cargo train will get me there." Again her question is met with a silent nod. "You will stay right here until my medical team comes for you and Nihlus."

He begins to protest, but is cut off by Shepard. "That was not a question, that was not a request. Lieutenant Alenko, I need you to stay here with these two until help arrives."

"Aye aye ma'am." He presses a bit harder against Nihlus's abdomen. "I'd salute you but my hands are a bit busy at the moment."

"I understand completely." Shepard turns to Ashley. "The two of us are going to the other platform to protect the beacon."

She doesn't wait for a response before turning on her heel and heading down to the cargo train.

* * *

The women are silent upon getting on to the cargo train, the geth that had met them on the way down to the cargo train were no match for their marksmanship and Shepard's biotic talents. Shepard starts the tram and it slowly heads over to the spaceport's other platform. She takes this moment to take off her helmet and untuck her hair, shaking it out. "That feels better."

"Ma'am?" Ashley is staring at her, she looks confused. "That doesn't seem like the best idea in the middle of a battle zone."

Shepard raises an eyebrow. "Do you always question your superior officer's actions, Williams?"

"No ma'am!" Ashley answers hastily, "I'm just concerned that your lack of headgear may be taken advantage of."

Shepard sighs, throwing out her arms. "Williams, I want you to look hard at my armor and tell me if you see any dents. Any at all."

Ashley sweeps her eyes over the commander and shakes her head. "I don't see any ma'am."

Shepard nods and lets her arms fall to her sides, "That's because I don't even need this stuff, my barrier does all the work. If I didn't have my barrier up, a bullet would punch through this crap post haste." As if to prove her point, she throws her helmet straight down and it cracks apart as Ashley watches with sheer terror on her face.

Upon seeing this look, Shepard laughs and gestures to her armor. "It's all for show." The tram begins it's grinding halt as Ashley attempts to compose herself. It was beginning to seem as though the commander was crazy, though Ashley was unaware that Shepard was just beginning to crack under the stress of reliving the beginning of the end of not only her life, but the Galaxy as a whole.

Shepard freezes. "Explosives nearby. Come on, we have to disarm them." Shepard takes off running, shooting any geth and husks that get in her way and stopped next to one of the charges. "I'll watch your back while you disarm the charge.

Ashley kneels down next to the charge, and disarms it in less than thirty seconds, while Shepard watches her back. They repeat this process 3 more times before the all explosives are taken care of in a timely fashion. "Done!" Ashley pipes up when the last charge is taken care of, while Shepard leans against the wall watching.

"Good." Shepard straightens herself slowly. "The beacon should be nearby, let's get over to it, so we can ensure its security before calling in a retrieval team."

"Aye aye ma'am." Ashley agrees, before Shepard leads the way to allow the duo to take out the last of the remaining geth and husks near the beacon.

Shepard smiled to herself, 'Two extra lives saved and the beacon is intact. This is infinitely better than the results of this mission the first time around.'

She begins to radio the Normandy, keeping her gaze on the beacon as she and Ashley maintain their distance. "Normandy, the beacon is secure. Requesting immediate-" Visions appear in front of her eyes, cutting her off, despite that the beacon was inactive.

Any hope she had of ever forgetting the prothean warning sealed in the beacon, it was gone now. It was as vivid, as painful as first time she ever saw it. Just as overwhelming too, her to collapse to the ground as everything fades to black .


	8. On the way to the Citadel

**A/N: Firstly, I'd like to apologize for taking so long on this chapter. things have been rather hectic, and as any writer knows and can be tough to work while stressed. Not to mention that my laptop decided to break, and using any other computer to write feels weird. This is a bit of a slow chapter, but I'm excited about the next chapter and have already started it. My hope is to get it up later today or tomorrow. Cross your fingers!**

* * *

When the visions of destruction fade and darkness of sleep clears, Shepard wakes up to Kaidan standing over her, staring at her. She groans, "Lieutenant, if you don't get the hell out of face we're gonna be testing my biotics against yours."

Kaidan starts, jumping away from the commander. "Sorry ma'am. I had just come in to see if you were alrigh-"

"Shut up Kaidan." Shepard interrupts as she slowly sits up, massaging her temples and taking note of the fact that she was back in her undersuit.. "I have a killer headache, and you're not helping by talking so loud."

"Perhaps you should just go for now Alenko." Chakwas suggests tactfully. "Go let Anderson know that Shepard is awake."

Kaidan nods and scrambles out of the room, eager to get away from his L3 implanted commander. "How long was I out?" Shepard asks Chakwas when he's gone, staring at the doctor as she waited for an answer.

"Not for very long," Chakwas starts, setting down her clipboard on her desk. "Just a few hours, 4 hours 43 minutes to be precise, if you want to be precise."

Shepard pulls her legs close to sit lotus style, "So, four and a half hours, gotcha." She yawns, stretching her arms out over her head and revelling in the pop of her joints. 'About ten hours less than the first time.' She considers. "How's Nihlus doing? Better than in the field, I hope."

"Much better." Chakwas leans against her desk and eyes the door carefully as she waits for Anderson. "we got him bandaged up for now, but he'll need more specialized care when we get to the citadel. He's still unconscious, but otherwise stable." She smiles at Shepard then, "Your and Alenko's field medicine quite possibly saved his life."

"Good to hear." Shepard responds as Anderson walks through the clinic doors and stops by her bed, before turning to Chakwas,

"Dr Chakwas, would you mind getting Shepard a change of clothes from her locker while I discuss the mission with her?" His smile was dazzling, which made her raise an eyebrow, but she left the room, knowing full well that if she didn't, his request would turn into an order. He may as well have said "Give me and Shepard privacy while we debrief."

"Anderson," Shepard begins and clears her throat, moving her legs off the table. "I need to ask you some things."

"Ask away Shepard." He leans against the bed, crossing his arms. He had a tired expression on his face, leaving shepard to assume he had just had a discussion with his higher ups. Reporting to Admiral Hackett, the council, and the Illusive Man had been the most tiring parts of the past three years, explaining why things didn't go exactly as planned.

"Is the beacon intact?" The words tumble out of her mouth hurriedly, she needs to know if the mission was a success or a failure. If she got too close and overloaded the beacon again, that would be terrible for trying to convince the council about the reaper attack.

Anderson raises an eyebrow at her question, and she has to bite her lip to keep everything she wants to say from spilling out at once. "Yes. What makes you ask?"

Her sigh of relief came after the first word out of his mouth, and she thought carefully about her next words before speaking. "Do you remember when I told you I had a dream about all this, and you said I had your attention after the transmission about the attack?"

Despite his wary expression, he nodded. "Good, I want you to keep in that in mind when I tell you all that I have to tell you." She took a deep breath to begin, but Dr. Chakwas chose that moment to walk back in with a fresh uniform for Shepard.

"I understand if the two of you want to discuss matters privately, but I'd like the medbay back." She handed Shepard the clothes, "I do have a turrian whose wounds need to be redressed."

Shepard began unzipping the undersuit she had been left in after having her armour stripped off, and Anderson nodded at Chakwas. "I understand." He turned back to Shepard, "Meet me in my quarters in ten minutes. You'll have time to tell me on our way to the citadel."

He turns to the door and walks away as Shepard finishes unzipping and shimmies out of the suit. She pulls the uniform shirt over her head then pulls on the pants as she watch Chakwas remove the bandages from the turian's stomach. "That's gonna leave a nasty scar." Shepard muttered without thinking.

"That it is Shepard." the doctor tells her, Shepard shoves her feet into the boots and hurries out of the room, thinking about her own scarred turian.

'He's not going to have the scar,' she thinks almost sadly, having liked the way he had used it to flirt with her, 'but that's perfectly fine, I love him anyway.' She didn't notice the blush that spread across her cheeks, or her heart beating faster as she considered that when they got to the citadel, she would get to see him again, despite that he wouldn't remember her. She was so lost in thought, she almost didn't notice Kaidan waving her over.

She strolled over and listened to him apologize again, she assured him it was alright, but jokingly warned him that the only woman who would want to wake up with his face in hers, is a romantic partner. He laughs and agrees with her, reminding her what a good friend he was before they had spent the night before Ilos together, and after he got over her spending the night before the collector base with Garrus.

"I'm just glad to see you're okay." He tells her, expression becoming more serious as he leans against Shepard's locker. "I caught up to you and Williams after the medical team got to Nihlus, Williams was freaking out. You were on the ground, curled up in a ball, shaking and panting. Williams and and I grabbed you, to help you back to the ship. You stopped shaking, you just whimpered and went limp."

Shepard frowned, 'That's a different reaction than the first time. Maybe since I didn't activate the beacon, cause it to overload, it took longer for me to fall unconscious from the visions?'

Kaidan spoke up again, breaking her train of thought. "Are you alright, Commander? Do you need to go back to Chakwas?" He waves a hand in front of her unfocused expression.

She nods, smacking his hand away. "I'm fine, Alenko." She urges him away from her locker, and opens it to pull out a hair tie. "I have to go, I need to talk to Anderson. I'll talk to you later though." She pulls her hair into a cheerleader ponytail as she walks away.

Despite her intention of heading straight to Anderson's quarters, Shepard spots Ashley brooding just outside her destination. She steps over to her her and smiles. "I'm recommending you for the crew of the Normandy."

Ashley jumps, not realizing that the commander was there. "Oh, uh, thank you, Commander. I really appreciate it." She still seems upset though.

Shepard frowns and sighs, "I know what you're going through. I lost everyone on Akuze." She ignores having found corporal Toombs later on Ontarom, since it technically hadn't happened yet. "I don't really have time now, but if you ever want to talk about it, I'm not hard to find."

Ashley smiles ever so slightly. "Thank you, Commander. I really appreciate it." Shepard nods, smiling back and walks over to the doors of the Captain's Quarters, and knocks, more to announce her presence than ask permission.

Shepard strolls in and sees Anderson sitting at his desk, "Ready to tell me exactly what's going on?" He asks, setting a datapad down on the desk.

"Just remember to suspend your disbelief." Shepard locks the door to prevent anyone from stumbling in while she told her story. She leans against the wall next to his desk, lost in thought, "Where do I begin...?"

* * *

A few hours later, Shepard was finished telling Anderson what she thought he needed to know, his head was spinning from the new information. " Shepard, do you realize how crazy you sound right now?"

She sighs, having sunk to sit on the floor during her tale. "Yes, but you promised you'd hear me out."

He nods, standing up and offering her a hand. "I didn't say I didn't believe you Shepard. I just recommend we don't let anyone else be privy to this information until we can back what you have to say about the reapers."

"Perhaps that's a good idea." Shepard takes his hand, and lets him pull her to her feet. "Let me see that datapad." He hands it to her letting her type, "These coordinates, on eden prime have the prothean I mentioned, that will help us back up our theory. I need you, when we get to the citadel, to send some prothean researchers to set up a dig site there, even if you just spread a rumor about there being something there."

"Giving orders to your commanding officer?" Anderson remarks with a laugh.

"I'm sorry, this is just a very sensitive matter and the sooner we can get people working on this..." She shakes her head, setting the datapad back on his desk.

He nods, "I understand completely, I'll also send some researchers to the archive on Mars to look for information on the crucible, the sooner we get started building, the better."

"And please stay away from the council meeting, given your history with Saren, it's the best course of action to get them to listen to us." Shepard heads for the door, but Anderson grabs her wrist.

"I have one more thing to say before you go," He lets go of her, "Officially you will not be receiving command of the Normandy until you are made a spectre by the council, but unofficially this ship is yours now."

Shepard smiles and salutes him, waiting for his return salute before heading into the mess to satisfy her hunger before they arrive at the citadel.


	9. An Ambassador, a Consort, and a Turian

Shepard eats slowly, making small talk with fellow soldiers, ones that lived after the destruction of the Normandy, and ones that did not. She takes her time, so that by the time she finishes, the ship is pulling into the Citadel docks. She debates changing into her armor as Nihlus is taken off the ship to get to the hospital on the citadel, knowing she should expect to be fighting, makes her consider wearing it, as it would get her squad mates without biotic barrier to follow her example, but in the end she decides to go in her uniform instead.

She heads down to the armory to grab a pistol, and a thigh holster that she fastened over her uniform to hold said pistol. Kaidan and Ashley came down to get their weapons as Shepard fastened her holster. Shepard was intrigued because the came together, talking and laughing, seeming relaxed even in their armor.

She had rarely ever seen the of them talking to one another, the last time she lived this, and never this... Flirty. Now she wondered if that had been a result of her responding to the his flirting from the very beginning. With her heart already set on a certain Turian sniper, and saving both of them, she now set her heart on something else.

Setting the two of them up.

She walked away, humming in pleasure at the idea of playing Cupid. Her squadmates shot her a funny look when she did so, but quickly went back to talking to each other. She hummed all the way back to the bridge, where Joker turns his chair around raises an eyebrow and asked "Alright, I'll bite. What's got you so happy, Commander?"

"I'd tell you, Joker. Though I get the feeling you can't keep a secret." She crosses her arms, but can't help the persistent grin on her features.

"Ooh, it's a secret? Now I'm really intrigued." He grins widely, a sign of mischief brewing. "Come on, Commander. I can totally keep a secret."

She rolls her eyes, "Sure you can." She glances over her shoulder to see Kaidan and Ashley walking over. "Finally. What took you two so long?"

The duo share a sheepish glance, and Shepard rolls her eyes again. "Never mind. Let's just get a move on, Udina is probably already giving Anderson a hard time." She leads the way out the airlock, her squad mates following quietly.

They make their way out of the dock and through c-sec, and upon seeing the presidium, Shepard shifts uncomfortably as she tries to adjust to the arrangement of everything on this set up of the citadel, as it was so different from the way she had last seen it. After thinking a moment she heads for the nearby ramp and an makes her way to the embassies. She considers asking avian which way to Udina's office since she couldn't remember but her distaste for VIs sends her to the Asari secretary at the front desk.

"Excuse me, but could you tell me which way to the Earth Ambassador's office?" Shepard flashes her most polite smile and receives a similar smile in return.

"Of course," she uses a tone that reminds Shepard of a salesperson. "though I recommend your questions about the citadel be directed towards Avina, our virtual intelligence intended specifically to tell people about the citadel." She then points in the direction the party needs to go. "He's right up those stairs and down the hall, Commander."

"Thank you." Shepard waves as she walks off, headed in the direction the asari instructed. As she got close she could hear Udina through his door and cringed, it'd had been hard enough to listen to him yammer on about what humanity deserved before, but it was even harder to knowing he would eventually betray the council while he was in the spot that Shepard had given to Anderson.

It was especially hard to have to rely on him to get a meeting with the council. "This is an outrage!" He yells, and Shepard pauses outside the door, debating whether or not she should actually go in. "The council would step in if the geth attacked a Turian colony!"

She hears the Salarian councilor speak and decides it's better to go in while the crazy human ambassador is shut up. She steps in, listening, "The Turians don't found colonies on the borders of the Terminus Systems, Ambassador."

"Humanity was well of aware of the risks when you went into the traverse." The Asari councilor includes. Shepard glances at the exasperated Anderson and decides to butt in before Udina makes humanity seem more the fool.

"With all due respect Councilor," Shepard steps next to Udina to speak, "the dangers humanity was made aware of when colonizing, were things like barbarian pirates. Not the geth, which haven't been beyond the veil in centuries.

"If it were any other danger the offenders would be killed, and we'd be done with it. However, the geth are artificial intelligence, which is outlawed. They were not viewed as a threat before the ventured beyond the veil, however they have now." She stands up a bit straighter under the scrutinizing gaze of the council. "As the geth are a collective, this attack on a human colony could be seen as artificial intelligence launching a strike on organics as a whole. We are simply seeking help to eliminate the threat not just to humanity, but to the other races as well."

The mandibles of Turian councilor's mandibles twitch in a slight display of his pleasure, "Very eloquently put. If your Ambassador was as diplomatic as you, perhaps humanity would get what they want more often."

"What's your name?" The Asari councilor asks.

Shepard salutes, "Commander Elizabeth Shepard, executive officer of the SSV Normandy. Leader of the ground team on Eden Prime."

"If you were on Eden Prime then when can expect to see you at Saren's hearing, yes?" The Salarian councilor asks.

Shepard drops her salute, "Yes councilor." With the the holograms fade and the meeting is over, leaving Shepard to turn and smile Udina, despite his death glare. "You're welcome."

"I see you brought half the the crew of the Normandy." Udina snears, addressing Anderson despite his glancing around at the ground team. Two of said members were standing by the window looking out.

"The crew of the Normandy is much bigger than six people." Anderson ignores the sarcasm in correcting Udina, he too knows about the eventuality of Udina's betrayal now and refuses to even pretend to be civil. "This is just the ground team from Eden Prime. In case you had any questions."

"I have the mission reports. I assume they're accurate." Shepard watches the pissing match unfold and wishes she had popcorn, it was always entertaining to watch Anderson and Udina go at it. They both had very_ 'I'm in charge here'_ presences, that would always clash when they came together, and Shepard found it hilarious.

"They are." Shepard notes the deterioration into glaring match. "I see you got us a audience with a council. Is that right?"

"Yes, but they were not happy about it. Saren's is their top agent and we're accusing him of treason." Udina snaps at Anderson as though it were his fault, and as entertaining as this was, Shepard decides to step in.

"Saren's a threat to everyone, especially with the geth behind him." Shepard snaps back at Udina, "I'm sorry that keeping people safe doesn't fit into your political agenda."

Udina focuses his death glare back on Shepard, who glared right back. "How dare you disrespect me, first by interrupting me while I spoke to the council now you're accusing me of not caring about the people Saren's hurt?!"

Shepard finds herself amused by the way his face is turning red, and refuses to get drawn into a screaming match. "You look funny when you're angry." She starts to walk off, only to have her wrist grabbed. Without a second thought she yanks her arm away and swings her leg around, knee landing in Udina's gut. He is knocked to the ground and Shepard smiles down at him. "Try something like that again, you'll get worse than kneed in the gut." As she heads out of the room, still smiling, Ashley once again entertains the idea that her new commanding officer is insane, but follows anyway, and startled Kaidan in tow.

* * *

Outside the embassies, Shepard pauses and turns to her squad mates. "Is there anything you guys want to do before Saren's hearing? There's shops, clubs, an Asari consort." Every fiber of her being was screaming out, telling her to go find Garrus, but until the beginning of the hearing, she had no idea where he was and if she went around asking people would wonder why she was asking. "If you want, you can go off without me. Just meet me in front of the citadel tower before the hearing."

She heads away towards the financial district where Sha'ira was located, and was pleased to find the others not following her. Her plan was to chat up the consort about the problem with Septimus, buy some weapons mods at the shop next door, the one run by a Hanar, and if she still had time before the hearing, she'd go talk to the general causing problems for said consort.

She finds her way into the consort's place, and knows she's in the right place thanks to the relaxing atmosphere and many well dressed assistants fluttering around. She pauses at the front desk, or podium, as it may be considered and smiles at the assistant who asks her if she has an appointment. "No I don't, I was hoping to speak with Sha'ira about an elcor spreading rumors."

"I'm sorry but Sha'ira is very busy, if you give me your name, I can schedule you an appointment at her next opening in four months." The assistant smiles politely.

"No thanks." Shepard insists, "Just let her know that commander Shepard stopped by, alright?"

Shepard turns on her heel and and begins to walk away slowly, getting stopped by the assistant a moment later. "Excuse me, Sha'ira will see you now."

Shepard turns around and heads to the back room, walking tall with her head held high. When she gets to the consort, she wastes no time with pleasantries. "I hear that you have a Elcor diplomat problem."

Sha'ira sighs, "That would be an accurate statement. He believes I spread personal information about him, and is telling everyone such."

"You didn't though, and you need someone to talk to the person who is, right?"

Sha'ira smiles, "That would be a great help, and I would be very _accommodating_ to whoever helped me. It's a Turian general named Septimus, if you'd be interested. We had a falling out, if you could just convince him to stop, there may be a reward in it for you."

Shepard doesn't like the intensely suggestive way the consort comes off, but reminds herself that its better to make a friend than an enemy. "I'd be happy to help." She heads out without waiting for a response, and ducks into the shop next door to look at special ammo and weapon mods.

She buys some armor piercing rounds, incendiary rounds and shredder rounds, sighting upgrades, high caliber barrel upgrades, and heat sink upgrades, getting lost in everything available. She checks the list again, for anything else she wants, and notices a sniper rifle scope on the list, seeing it makes her smile in memory.

_She sat on the bed, attempting to read something on her datapad, but found her continually getting distracted by the presence of a very sexy Turian sniper sitting on her couch. Eventually she just gives up with a heavy sigh that causes him to look up from his own reading curiously. "I have something I want to give you."_

_His eyes sweep over her half naked form, "And what would that be?" He sets down the datapad next to him. She scrambles to the head of the bed and pulls something out of the drawer of her nightstand._

_She holds it in her hands as he stands up to walk in front of her and look. "It's a thermal scope." she tells him. "We've been fighting a lot of enemies that like smoke walls lately, and I thought this may help."_

_His mandibles twitch pleasurably, and he flashes what she recognizes as a smile. "From what I understand about human culture, don't most normal couples give each other things like chocolate or jewelry?"_

_His playful teasing encourages her, to reach out and hold his hands. "We'll we aren't exactly normal, are we?"_

_He laughs, "You are far too extraordinary to be normal." He leans in and kisses her._

Her cheeks are bright red when she comes back into reality, "Oh crap!" She starts when she realizes that the hearing is about to start. She runs for it, eager to meet up with her squad mates and get to the hearing. She doesn't bother to stop and say hello when she runs into them, just ushers them into the elevator and starts it, before slumping against the wall.

She ignores the concerned looks of her team, brushing them off with an "I'm fine. Just lost track of time." She uses the ride to compose herself, standing back up straight and making her way to the front of the elevator.

When it stops she walks out, taking large strides, but stops dead in her tracks when she see what she had been waiting the past two days for. She sees him, standing there, arguing with executor Palin.

She sees Garrus Vakarian.


	10. C-Sec Hearing

**A/N: Today is my birthday, and in celebration I give you chapter 10. Enjoy your gift while I enjoy my cake. :)**

Seeing him, she feels excitement, relief, but also sadness. This is the man she fell in love with, but at the same time, it isn't. It's the man who fell in love with her, but he can't remember, as though it never happened.

She's torn when executor Pallin walks away, and he sighs turning toward her. Part of her wants to run up to him and sob with relief as though that were her Garrus, the one that told her to come back alive. Another part tells her to force herself forward and pretend that nothing happened between them, because after all, while she remembered it, no one else did. Finally, she feels her socially awkward high school self breaking through, telling her to find someplace to hide.

The internal torment prevents her from making a decision, and her feet won't move forward until she realizes she's staring at the turian in front of her, no real purpose. She forces one foot in front of the other, making herself move towards him, regretting her original indecisiveness that kept her from realizing how rude she must have seemed. _'What a terrible first impression.'_ She thought, rather angrily berating herself.

She gets within speaking distance of Garrus and forces herself to feign ignorance of the situation, "What was that about?"

He pauses a moment, debating whether to share the information or simply ignore her. He seems to come to the conclusion that anyone in this area is important enough not to ignore. "I'm Garrus Vakarian, the C-Sec Officer in charge of investigating the claims against Saren. Executor Pallin and I were arguing because I can't get into Saren's files, thanks to his spectre status." He sighs, crossing his arms while Shepard struggled not to fidget, for fear that any amount of movement would give her body a chance to break free of her mind. "Now, time is up and I have nothing."

Shepard smiles sympathetically, recalling the amount of red tape she had encountered over past few years. "That's a shame, though we have an eyewitness account of Saren's presence on Eden Prime. That should be enough to have him stripped of his spectre status."

He seems a bit startled by her knowledge of the case, but then his eyes trail to the Alliance symbol on her uniform. "I'm sorry, what did you say your name was?" He asks this question carefully, feeling rather silly for not catching her name.

"I didn't." She smirks, and crosses her arms. "Commander Elizabeth Shepard, Alliance Navy, Pleased to meet you, just don't get my achievements mixed up with my mother's, Commander Hannah Shepard, and hopefully we won't have a problem."

"Understood." He replies smirking back, likely thinking of his own parentage issues, but then he pauses again, "Come to think of it, you look familiar, Shepard. Have we met somewhere before?"

Shepard's cheeks flood with a blush as she considers the idea that he may have even the ghost of a memory of their time together, but in the company of others she deems it best to keep her mouth shut. "No, sorry. You must be mistaking me for someone else." The words are hard to force out, and leave a bad taste in her mouth.

One of her squadmates poke her in the back, she turns her head to see Kaidan. "Commander, we should get going. The meeting is starting."

"Go on ahead and wait for me." She instructs, waving him off. "I just need a minute to finish my conversation with Vakarian here." When they walk away, Shepard turns back to Garrus.

"Was there something you needed?" He asks, an inquisitive expression on his face.

She bites her lip, "Yeah, actually. I need you to find someone for me, if we don't already have enough to go against Saren, she'll have our final puzzle piece."

Garrus seems to perk up at this information. "I think I can handle that. Who do you need me to find?"

"A quarian, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. She's probably looking to make a deal to get in exchange for her information."

"I know just who to talk to." He hurries off without another word, beginning his search for the Quarian. She sighs, wishing he had said goodbye, but neither of them were very good at that.

She strolls up to the platform where the Ambassador was meeting with the councilors- and was relieved to that the captain wasn't there- as they finish the audio file Shepard submitted to the case, "This would be very damning evidence, if it weren't possible that Nihilus was in shock, and the suggestion that Saren was there, from the dock worker, convinced him that Saren was the one who shot him."

Upon hearing the Turian councillor speak, Shepard resisted the urge to face palm._ 'Nothing is ever easy, is it?'_

"Councilor, then where did the dock worker get the Saren's name?" She interjects, refusing to let the ambassador get a word in edgewise, knowing he was likely to yell at the council, and such would only hurt their case.

"Saren is a rather decorated spectre, which makes him quite famous." The Asari councilor answers. "And in some circles, even infamous."

"And we can't ask Nihlus what happened, as he is still rather unconscious at the hospital." The Salarian informs the commander.

"Then perhaps it would be prudent to adjourn until Nihlus recovers enough to come testify." Shepard suggests, recognizing that this was a battle that couldn't be won. No matter the weapon.

"Commander, I am a busy man." Saren spits out. "I have no time for these silly games and foolish accusations." She resists the urge to insult him, noticing the way he nurses his shoulder.

_'Nihlus shot him in the shoulder.'_ She remembers the dockworker having said, "What happened to your shoulder?"

"I was thrown by an explosion during the mission I just worked." He says with a sigh, "Any more foolish questions?"

"You look pretty damn good for someone who was thrown in an explosion." Shepard tells him suspiciously.

"Enough." The Asari councilor interjects. "We'll resume the meeting in 24 hours, whether Nihlus is awake or not."

Shepard sighs, but turns and walks away, squadmates in tow. "What do we do now?" Ashley asks.

"We go find our newest turian friend. We find Vakarian."


	11. Author's Note: Haitus

I'd like to first apologize since you guy's probably thought this was a new chapter. Je suis désolé!

The truth of the matter is, I want to write, but since it's been so long since I'd played the first game, I remember Garrus's personality being what it was in the second and third games. Not the first.

And as we all know Garrus went through a personality change from first game to second, a big enough one that Joker even comments on it. I would just play the first game and drag him on the all missions to get a feel for his personality again, but my 360, for the moment is broken.

It got the red ring of death (moment of silence please) and my father has no intentions of trying to get it fixed.

He does, however intend to replace it with another 360... when the Xbox One comes out, since he believes the price of 360s will drop then.

I figured it would be better to warn you guys that I won't be updating until I have a working xbox, rather than just leave you hanging.

My apologies for the wait, and thank you for being such awesome readers!


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